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Across Australia the yearly migration of school aged children is taking place. This migration occurs over a six to seven week time period and takes on the form of a pilgrimage, where the children transition from one school grade to another. The pilgrimage has often been denoted by excessive whingeing, demands for food and excruciating periods of perceived boredom.

The flow on effect to the parents of these migrating creatures is visible to the keen observer. They display increased anxiety, have a general haggard appearance, often wear mis-matched clothing, and in extreme cases resort to excessive consumption of alcohol.

After many years of studying this natural phenomenon I have compiled a list of some techniques that can make the migration easier on both parents, and offspring.

The underlying concept of these technique is to maintain some semblance of the school-year routine.

Parents can go about their usual morning routine of preparing the day’s food allocation, packing it in the school lunch box as they normally would and setting a timer to remind them, and the offspring, when it is time to eat. All calls (aka nagging) for food outside of these times should be ignored.

Freedom is often a curse in human offspring and when left to their own devices for too lengthy a period anxiety sets in and neurotic behaviours ensue, so clear, defined parameters for activities may be required, including but not limited to, tasks only being allowed during specific time periods throughout the day.

This migration period is frequently marred by sudden outbreaks of the “I’m bored” illness. Should such an outbreak occur in your herd it can be dealt with swiftly by administering an antibiotic strength dose of “Housework”. Empirical evidence has shown that even the most resistant strain of the “I’m bored” illness will eventually be annihilated if you apply enough “housework”.

Most herds find the impact of the migration period can be considerably diminished with the implementation of these simple techniques, making for a happier population.

Should you have any further ideas or insights gleaned from your own observations that would be of benefit to the herd please feel free to share in the comments.

Good luck and may patience be with you.

xA

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