I don’t know about you, but when I was young (oh so much younger than today) my concept of sexy was very limited. It hinged around the core construct of physicality.

As I got older I came to the realisation that sexy was first and foremost subjective, it is still widely accepted that sexy can hinge on reproductive capabilities and this is inline with my original notion of physicality.

But there are other mitigating factors that we (hopefully) become aware of. The subjective nature of our attraction to another human being is vast and extremely interesting. I realised early on that the single most desirable element that made find someone ‘sexy’ was the spark in another person’s personality igniting the spark in mine.

This personality spark could manifest itself in varying forms for different people. For me it is banter. Yep, I am that easy (well not THAT easy but it is pretty simple).

I wouldn’t stand for, nor find it in any way appealing, if it was malicious teasing, but good natured, playful banter, yes please. Why does such a simple thing attract me? It has to do with the knowledge base the person must have about me to make the banter work.

If they know my likes and dislike; my hidden depths and my darkest fears; my dreams and aspirations then they will know what is off limits and when it is ok to partake in a bit of banter. When they know you this well the banter is always well received, and serves to lighten my heart and make my soul sing to be so connected to another.

To have someone understand the depths of your psych is sexy indeed.