I met the man who was to become my husband almost 20 years ago. We were only teenagers at the time but it would be accurate to say he wooed me.

With flowers.

With thoughtful gifts for Christmas, Valentine’s Day and my Birthday.

Our relationship was based on a lie.

This (now) man was not a thoughtful planner of great gifts.

What he was, I found out AFTER I fell in love with him, was adept at asking his Mum to buy me gifts.

It was a cunning plan I grant you, to win the affections of the girl/woman he desired. It certainly worked for him.

Fast forward those 20 years I previously mentioned to my birthday last week. Now sit down in preparation for the shock – he didn’t get me a card or a gift.

This is not the first time such a situation has presented itself and I am quite positive it won’t be the last.

His defence was that he was away elsewhere in the country on the day and he told me over the phone he would take me shopping to choose something when he returned.

I said “You could have written that in a card for me to open ON MY BIRTHDAY”.

He did indeed return and take me shopping. I got spoilt, as I deserve (well some days at least).

He is a wonderful man who just does not feel the same sense of importance for birthdays as I do.

He knows how I feel, I have been telling him for 20 years.

Our relationship will survive this hiccup, but lets not gloss over the fact, our relationship is based on a lie.

What of you? Is your relationship based on a lie?

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